No relationship is free from hurt. In families, friendships or church, we sometimes get hurt or hurt others. Forgiveness is one of the hardest choices we can make, and also one of the most freeing.
How many times should I forgive?
Peter asked Jesus a very practical question: “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” Jesus answered: “I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22). Jesus does not give us a number to count, but calls us to an attitude of forgiveness without limits.
Forgiveness does not mean that what happened did not matter, or that we must put ourselves in danger again. It means giving up the right to take revenge and leaving justice in God’s hands.
We forgive because we have been forgiven
The strongest reason to forgive is that we ourselves have been forgiven: “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” (Colossians 3:13). In the Lord’s Prayer Jesus teaches us to ask: “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12).
When we remember how much God has forgiven us, it becomes easier to look at other people’s mistakes with mercy.
Peace, as far as it depends on us
Sometimes, even when we forgive, the relationship cannot be restored right away. The Bible is realistic: “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18). We are responsible for our part, and we can entrust the rest to God.
Forgiveness is often a process, not a moment. We can ask God each day for strength to let go of bitterness, and He can heal our hearts step by step.
For reflection
Is there someone you find hard to forgive? Pray for that person every day this week. Is there someone you need to ask for forgiveness? Perhaps now is the right time.
Bible verses are quoted from the King James Version.